On to obstacles to the Approaches to Life I have been posting about. I encourage you to go back and read, if you are new here. I am saying there are three Approaches, obviously there may be others that resonate with you more. But I have found in my praying, reading, meditating, that these three seem to be very profound and basic. They are easy to remember, and I want to give you, dear reader, “things you can take away”. I want to give you “Tools for the Road”. If you have young children, you know you have to pack diapers, snacks, favorite toys, etc. I believe your Inner Life is the same, you need things you can use as you navigate life on Planet Earth. Now, many others have said it better, and in better ways!
As I wrote in “What’s it All About?” I hope to say things in a different way that will help you hear things you heard many times before for the first time. I want you to find this Alignment, or deepen into it. I think it will change your life! But as we delve deeper into these matters, we of course will bump into things we can not explain, fix, or easily comprehend. We will wrestle, and limp away at times, as Jacob did, but have newness in our souls. (Genesis 32, Hebrew Scriptures)
The phrase “Unholy” Trinity is truly meant comically, so don’t be offended if you worship the Triune God! But I do believe these three things: Ego, Expectation, and Myths trip us up, and cause us to be “un-whole” in ourselves as we relate to others. They take us out of a “Trinitarian Flow,” if we come from a Christian perspective, and hence become an “Unholy” Trinity. If that is not your perspective, these three still will cause you problems, if mishandled and left misdirected. (There are plenty of other things–but again, these three seem to be predominate in my reflections.)
To recap a bit, these Approaches are a way to look at life and respond to it. Openness is to have an open mind to “God” and divine things and other people. We can be nice, gentle and kind with spouses, children, and co-workers. We really can. Be open to what the Universe is bringing to you, teaching you, and giving you.
Lightness is something I take from Jesus instructions to take His “yoke” on us, a burden that is light. I internalized this to be a way we become “lighter” in ourselves, less fixated on our inner life, needs, wants, etc. We can have a deeper lightness in our souls, if we can let God/Divine Flow show us, lead us, and guide us.
Alignment, the third Approach, has a more mystical component to it. I believe it just is, we receive it, and we choose it. I spoke about the the Great Flow of the Universe, and used the metaphor of a sailing ship needing to have it’s sails adjusted to catch the “wind” of God’s Spirit. Aligning with Love (the name of the Blog) is about receiving and absorbing God’s love filling the Universe, and carrying that love into the world.
Aligning with Love is to be a more loving Presence in the world.
Of course these Approaches don’t seem easy to do or be! We get opinionated, and weighed down in our hearts. We may not be sure about any Love-Flow, Great Flow, God, Divine Being, and such. So how can we ever Align with anything, let alone love, or God?
I think there are ways we can, and ways that help. The Love-Flow is drawing us in. God is parting our individual “Red Seas”, like in the Biblical book of Exodus. The metaphor has been used before, I believe in 12-Step Practice, of seeing a blank wall, or being trapped in a room with no obvious door, and suddenly there is seemingly a door. A way out is shown–a way forward is made. (“Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous)
So, the first Obstacle in the Approaches to life, that trip us up, is our own egos. Ego, as described in the dictionary is: “the self, especially as contrasted with another self, or the world”. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ego
I know there are voluminous writings on the word from a psychological perspective, and I am not a psychologist. I will define ego for the purposes of these writings/teachings as simply “your personal wants for life in a given situation, or your preferences”. You like a particular color, I like blue. You like Fall over Summer. You may like to wear your hair a certain way, or use makeup. I like cheeseburgers. I want Spring to come. I want more people to read my blog, etc.
There’s no “morals” to these-these are just very basic human tendencies. Obviously the preferences/wants can get more elaborate: I want to work in this industry, go to college, live in Paris, marry so-and-so, or be single, on and on. But, we know that our egos soon bump into other’s egos! We can’t agree on what movie to watch tonite on Netflix, a suburban, and unimportant “battle”, but one that happens. Pizza or Chinese tonite? Do I agree with Democrats or Republicans in the USA? Where do I want to live? What does my pocketbook allow me to do, or do I swipe a card, if I even have one?
Others live much more challenging lives: I don’t want to get shot today, or beat again. I don’t know what rights might be taken from me today, or how I will be treated because of my skin color, ethnicity, apparent religious affiliation, nationality and the like. Some of us have the luxury to have very mundane ego concerns, others of us are hoping to survive another day!
Whether it is “dumb” stuff, or life and death–our egos our interacting and colliding. When it’s minor things, we must recognize our ego, and hold it with some lightness. Things we learned in Kindergarten, or should have learned, come back: sharing, letting the other person have a turn. We may laugh as an adult, but did you let that person out onto the road that was trying to exit the parking lot? Or were you too busy “getting there”?
If we are a person of means, did we donate a dime to anything? Did we give away things we no longer needed to someone less fortunate? Have we stopped to notice anything around us other than our day, our job, and our next vacation? I’m not saying you can’t enjoy life, or enjoy money you worked hard for! But the disheveled guy on the street corner with the cardboard sign asking for a few bucks-what did you do for him? It’s easy to drive by. “Have to get to work,” and I “don’t know their situation”, etc. But in that moment, our ego has said: “I don’t have time. I don’t want to get involved. It might be dangerous.” All may be true. But the guy with the sign- his ego says: “I just want to get a sandwich. I am cold and tired. I had a job and home, and that and that happened, and here I am. ” Maybe he is scamming-maybe not.
Aligning with love means taking chances and taking some risks, it means caring.
You might be on the “other side”, the one who’s ego wants the basics, because everyone else’s egos has prevented your’s from having any voice. I am sorry the world is this way! (And that sentence is woefully inadequate to express my sorrow at your trauma, hurts, and ongoing pain.) Too many hearts have no Alignment in them with the right things, only False Alignment within themselves, which isn’t real Alignment at all! I can only do my part–and writing this blog is part of it. Aligning with love is to not ignore the needs of others, but to meet them! Excess is not for hoarding, but for disbursing. (My own ego just gulped, writing that.) So, I have work to do–being the “Align With Love” guy means confronting my own selfishness in my interactions with others, and where I do not share my own excess!
Watch yourself-observe yourself. Look for your “ego moments”. Some of it is fine-some of it needs to be discussed. Some of it needs to be discarded, and let go. Have some Openness and Lightness with yourself to notice where you became rigid in preferences, beliefs, and attitudes. Your ego needs a regular trip out into the sunlight! If you are religious-you know the Psalmist’s request:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139: 23-24, NIV)
If you are not religious, you can still self-reflect. You can still ask: What am I wanting to have happen here? What does the other person want or need? Try asking. You can do this whether you are religious or have some other spiritual practice, too! It is amazing to me how selfish I can still be, in so many things. God help me to see myself better, to be more Aligned with your Love!
Notice those who’s egos just want (need) the basics: food, shelter, clothing.
Do something, if you can. Make yourself do something.
Next, I will talk about the 2nd Member of this trinity: Expectations. That one is a doozy! And I will get to how we can start to overcome these-stay tuned.
-Eric, the Wordsmith
BP12