What is being a Christian?

Stone church with steeple in countryside surrounded by gardens and gravestones
A charming stone church surrounded by vibrant gardens and rolling green hills.

“The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch…” -New Testament Book of Acts 11:26

In those early days following the Resurrection of Jesus, the name for this new sect of Judaism was coined. The new faith spread far and wide, ultimately absorbing the Roman Empire that tried to crush it. You do not have to look far to see a church, or a cross, or hear a Bible verse, at least here in America. We often here the phrase “This is a Christian nation…” spoken of about the USA. I will not get into the history of how much or little, Christianity influenced America’s founding. I want to address the simple question: what does it mean to say “Christian” today?

There are many definitions, of course. The obvious being a belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Along with that, a deep belief in the truth of the Bible, and a desire to follow and live according to Jesus’s teachings. After this, are efforts to be “holy” and obedient to God’s Word, as well as spreading the Gospel Message. I have no issue with these notions, as I have said I come from a Christian background, and consider Jesus my Master. This does not mean that I always do what He says to me, or follow what I feel He is leading me to do or not do!

In my reflections on this though, I have sensed a new definition form in my mind for what it should mean to be Christian. I did say in my very first posts, that I practiced and believed in a “reimagined” Christianity. I know some will slap the ‘liberal’ label on it, and dismiss me, but as I say repeatedly: Please play along. Jesus was shockingly liberal in his day in some ways, and very conservative in other ways, and at times He even seemed harsh. Of course, those very notions weren’t really in play back then, and were not as we would think of them now!

So, for my definition of being a Christian:

“To see Christ and be Christ”.

Let me unpack that. What does ‘Christ’ even mean? Christ is from the Greek word: Christos, meaning “Anointed One”, or ‘Chosen One”, and is the Greek translation for the even older Hebrew word: Messiah. Jewish understanding of ‘Messiah’ back then was one who would librate them from oppression, put right the wrongs of the world, and bring healing.

The Apostle Paul, who converted to faith in Jesus after having a supernatural encounter with Him, speaks amazingly of Christ in his letter to the Colossians:

15 The Son (Jesus) is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. (Colossians 1: 15-20, NIV)

In Christian understanding, Jesus is God’s Son, and also God. Paul beautifully describes Christ transcending his earthly life and speaking of Him in sweeping cosmic terms. This is probably where Father Richard Rohr gets his term: “Cosmic Christ”, drawing from passages such as this. Hence, when I say being a Christian is to “see” Christ, I am saying to look with spiritual sight and see Christ, and see Jesus infusing and inhabiting ALL things. As I write this, I am listing to Anton Bruckner’s Symphony # 7, and Christ is in this music, not just because Bruckner was a believer, but because some of Christ’s creativity and musicianship is present in that music. He is present in the tree that is outside my window, and in the breeze that is blowing today. He is “hopefully” speaking to some degree through me as I type away here!

Since Christian understanding is to say Christ is God, I am saying that part of being a Christian is to see God in all things. Paul also says in the Biblical book of Acts, borrowing from a Greek poet: “In him, (God), we live and move and have our being…” (Acts 17:28, NIV) Paul is not speaking of Jesus specifically in this verse, but later does, causing the Greeks of Thessolonica to be quite perplexed!

Paul’s phrase is not just to “see” Christ”, but to BE Christ. In Him, we live, and move, and have our being. This is way beyond just following a set of rules, or agreeing to a listing of beliefs! This is an infusing, an incorporating, and a ‘becoming’ way of life. Hence, why an early phrase for ‘Christianity’ was simply “The Way”. (Acts 9:1-2)

Too often, many of us Christians reduce this “way” to rules and formulas. Yes–we do. Get to church, or to Bible study. Don’t curse, dress certain ways, and don’t watch this or that. Make sure you tithe, and vote certain ways too. I am not saying any of this is bad, or wrong, but I hope these actions come from a place of loving Jesus, and not just checking “off boxes”.

As I said in the “Theory of the Realms”, about the Triune Unverse, we have a Great Reality beyond us, an Inner Reality within us, and an Outer Reality outside us. https://align-with-love.com/2026/04/14/the-theory-of-the-realms/ But now I want to expand on that: Do you see Christ in each of these ‘Realms’, and are you Christ in them?

I began this whole blog saying that what God said over His Son in the Jordan River at His baptism is also being said over you: “You ARE my beloved Son or Daughter.” Do you believe this? Do you see Christ in yourself? We Christians are very good at seeing sin, and we keep on seeing it, and seeing it, and seeing it! I am not saying to pretend you are now morally perfect, or ‘sinless’. I am not saying to ignore immorality in the world. I am saying to recognize that Christ is in you, and seeing Him and being Him means He is IN you and is actively working to change you! He is even working on other people too, even if you can’t see it–yet. Part of Aligning with Love fully is to first recognize Him and accept His presence in your life, and to agree that He died for (and with) you, and has resurrected for (and with) you! *

Christians call this “getting saved”. But this Christian life is more than just saying “The Sinners’ Prayer”, getting baptized, etc. It is embracing the very mind of Christ! Paul even says: “We have the mind of Christ…” (1st Corinthians 2:16) Paul sees us mystically as not just a follower of Jesus once we accept Him, but that we are indeed becoming Christ.

This is not something you can will yourself to do entirely. It requires, I believe, the Approaches I spoke of in Openness and Lightness. https://align-with-love.com/2026/02/16/openness/ Then He will Align you more deeply with Himself. You must have a posture of openness to what Christ is doing and a lightness with yourself to truly receive all of Him into your being. Christians call this “walking with the Lord”.

So then, you must have an honest assessment of yourself, and notice your Ego, Expectations, and Myths, https://align-with-love.com/2026/03/09/the-unholy-trinity/. But you must also notice where Christ is transforming you! Having more compassion for someone, or even starting to think: “Hey, maybe they are going though stuff, and are not just being a jerk,” is Christ working in you!

Can you see Christ in others? I mean really see Him? It is easy to see Christ in someone nice and kind, but can you see Christ in someone that is not from your religion, ethnic group, gender, social status, or economic level? And if they are practicing Christianity in a way different than you, can you still see Christ and be Christ? Can you not look down on the Catholics if you are Protestant, and vice versa?

Can you see Christ in the “mainline” Churches, like Presbyterian, or Episcopal, if you are Charismatic and Pentecostal? I was told once I went to a “Dead Church” as I was from a Dutch Reformed tradition. Who has cornered the market on what is “dead” or “alive” in Christian Practice? I spoke of being Convergent in my practice of Christianity, so I will see Christ in the Catholic Practice, Eastern Orthodox, and the Reformed, and the Pentecostal. We are all expressing Christ in different ways! Who am I to criticize how other Christians do it? Where can I see Christ and be Christ to them and with them?

Seeing Christ and being Christ is very simply another way of Aligning with Love. If you are Christian, be open to what other denominations are doing and saying. Look for commonality, instead of just saying: “They’re wrong…” if the Priest wears a collar, or the Minster is a woman, or the Pride Flag is displayed, or whatever. Jesus said the world would know we were His followers by how “we loved one another” (John’s Gospel, 13:34-35). I am going to ruffle feathers, not that I haven’t already in this blog, but Jesus never called us to be Christians. Nope. Never said it. He did say: “Follow me”. And He did say:

“…Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20, NIV)

Hmmm. No mention of making people Christians–only disciples. I do not have time here to unpack the word ‘disciple’, but in Jewish understanding, it meant to walk with, talk with, and mimic your teacher, your rabbi, in every way. (x) Yes, Jesus does tell them, (and us) to teach obedience to His teaching, and promises to be with us always! We Christians, we made all the divisions in thought and practice. Some of it was good, some if it was not. A lot of it was not. I see this blog, among other things, as my pleading with my fellow Christians to embrace what I am saying here: See Christ and Be Christ. You don’t have to agree with everything every other believer says, but you do have to be loving! Jesus said so. He is “in charge” of this Great Faith Practice we call Christianity.

We see so many people who were hurt by ‘Christians’ who had a lack of compassion, were judgemental, over-merged politics and faith, and then those same folks had the audacity to condemn people for not believing? May I propose some people didn’t believe in Jesus because they never really met him–too many of us supposed followers of Jesus made sure of that. Like in Jesus’s parable of the Good Samaritan, some of us stepped right by the hurting soul. (Luke 10:25-37) Some of us were not compassionate because they lived with their boyfriend, or were gay, or were aligned with the “other” party. Maybe they had tattoos, or listened to “Heavy Metal”, or whatever nonsense reason we made up. Some of these are old-school reasons, but you get my point.

For all who read this blog, who are not “Christian”, or even from another Faith Practice, I am sorry we Christians acted like this! Too many of us became just like the Pharisees of old, the religious group who were so fixated on Jewish laws and rules, they could not see God coming to them in the person of Jesus, and conspired to kill Him.

If you got “burned” by Christianity–I hope this blog can be part of a bridge back to Christ. If you are a Christian, and were harsh on others, I will use a strong word:

Repent! (Please) Jesus says to us what he said two-thousand years ago on the Cross: “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing. ” (Luke 23:34) That is God’s heart: Forgiveness. That is Christ’s heart: love and compassion, while being killed by human foolishness and ignorance.

Yes, I do believe God/Christ has opinions about how we should live on the Earth–but can we disciples be nice about it?? Jesus told us to!

And yes, if you were the judgemental person, that uncaring person, forgive yourself! Jesus already did. Now go and try to make it right with whoever you “wrote off”. Part of being Christian is not being perfect-it’s being honest about failures, repenting, seeking forgiveness, and letting the Spirit transform you!

So join with me: See Christ all around you. See Christ in you. See Christ in others. Try being a disciple of Jesus, or try a “reboot” of what you were doing. You can simply say: “Show me, guide me, and lead me, Lord.” I believe Christ will show up–He said He would be with us always. So see Him. And be Him.

Eric, the Wordsmith

* Richard Rohr: “Wondrous Encounters: Scripture for Lent,” Good Friday Meditation

X John Mark Comer: “Practicing the Way” I think this is required reading for every Christian! (No, I don’t know John.)

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Have thoughts or comments? You can click on the comment link below, or you can email me at the address provided. Have ideas you want me to write about, or questions? Want to tell me how much you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) my content? All are acceptable, but be nice, please. Thanks! alignwithlove85@gmail.com.

What is your focus?

Change laser beam to light blue

What do you focus on? There is a lot of “focus talk” in the world. I also love the word, but we have to focus on the right things. If I focus on making money, and not my family, then that is not good, correct? We even hear the term “laser focus”, hence the image. This implies an intense focus on something. I know I can hyper-focus on a work task, or my gardening, or even writing for this blog. There is nothing wrong with that, per se, but I must also not totally tune out the Realms of the Spirit (Great Reality), and the Outer Reality: you and the world around us. (See https://align-with-love.com/2026/04/14/the-theory-of-the-realms/)

In Star Wars Episode 1, ‘The Phantom Menace”, the Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn tells young Anikan Skywalker: “Your focus determines your reality.” You don’t have to be a Star Wars fan, or get into the whole plot, to just take the quote for what it is: a little bit of movie wisdom, that actually has profound implications.

What do you focus on?

I have been making this point in other ways. What we pay attention to, and what we notice, profoundly shapes how we respond to the world. As I wrote last week, my son and I had differing views of a rainy day. His led to him seeing the day as “cozy”, and mine had me seeing the day as an annoyance. He was happy, and I was cranky. How do you think we “showed up” to others that day? Was my son more pleasant, and I more irritable? (I do not really get this bugged about rain, but you get my point.)

Your focus really does determine a lot of how you see life. The Jedi’s were right, even if they are imaginary characters from a galaxy far, far away. So, change your focus. Stop seeing negativity everywhere. I know it is hard. If you live in America, you know there is much political disagreement, and frankly stark, and even angry disagreement, about how to view the very world we live in! America approaches it’s 250th Anniversary of being a country. It is worth celebrating, even if we have so many points of contention with one another.

We can choose to focus on our common history, the things we like about our country, and the good we can genuinely do in the world. Or, we can scapegoat the “other side”, find fault, and argue incessantly. Align with Love is not a political blog, nor is it Democrat or Republican. It is not even “American”, even if an American is writing it. Love transcends all of these “lines” we create. Love transcends all the delineations we make on paper and in our minds and hearts.

I choose to focus on Love.

Will you join me? Can you breathe, and be willing to hear the other person? Can you hear the religious or non-religious person? Can you hear that man or woman, or the child? Can you consider that regardless of what is the color of your skin, orientation, demographic, or location, you just want to be loved? I know this is hard–we have focused so long on our opinions, or the opinions of our “Group”, it is just easier to keep going. But where exactly are we going?

Focus on love. I know some will say that’s corny, or too simple. But is it? Could you honestly ask yourself: “How can I be a loving presence in this situation?” Being a loving presence is the subtitle of this blog. I stink at it many times–and so do you. But we can be better and do better. If you believe in any kind of Diety, you can ask for help. Even if you don’t believe, try asking anyway. Any movement, any step of belief, is very powerful.

I believe if we choose to focus on love, to align with it, we will be directed. Something will “show up” and work through us. Someone will help us. We will not be left as “orphans in the storm”. I know this to be true. You can dismiss me, or how I think, but I know love can transform our hearts, our relationships, our communities, and our world. Believe with me–know with me.

In the directedness, we can partner. We can partner with one another. I have already written at length about how we can begin to dialog about our respective egos, expectations and myths, and how that can transform our conversations, and get ourselves back to civility and kindness. Try it!

Focus on love–let God, or however you sense the “Beyond you”, re-align you. Let your perspective be realigned. If you don’t “sense” anything beyond you, let this blog be a source of inspiration. Let it be a “wakeup call” for your soul. Have some humility. Let the goofy accountant that keeps writing this stuff inspire you. Why not?

As you deal with others you are convinced are “wrong”, whether in facts, or morality, or both, listen. I have already written at length about how we don’t know everything, or all the factors making someone say or do what they do. We don’t always know why we are saying and doing whatever!

You can still love people and not agree with them. You can still have conversations with others, and you can “break bread” with others you may not like or agree with. Jesus did this. He eat with sinners, and tax collectors. (As an accountant, I am personally very grateful for that.) Just like now, no one liked taxes in 1st century Palestine! The Bible rolls these people together, as tax collectors in Jesus day were often fellow Jews who were collaborating with the Romans for profit. Which if you were a 1st century Jewish person under Roman occupation–a collaborator was a sinner. End of story. But Jesus ate with them, knowing it would rile his critics. (Matthew’s Gospel, 9:10-13)

I’m not saying you need to start with having your most hated enemy over for dinner, if you actually have one. But, can you start with not thinking ill of the neighbor, co-worker, or family member? Why add more negativity–why focus on how much you dislike so-and so? How much “airtime” do you give to some people in your thought life? You are actually giving yourself a double-whammy: Whatever they said or did, and then your stewing and ruminating on it! You have now added to the misery they may have caused. Why add to misery and aggravation? Why focus on it?

I could go on and on–and you know, Dear Reader, that I do. I probably need to be a far more ruthless editor of my posts.

“Your focus determines your reality…”

What will you focus on? What will you focus on in yourself, and in others? If you have any spiritual notions, will you focus on God? Will you focus on the Spirit’s flowing, blowing, and moving in the world? I know it doesn’t seem like it in so many areas of life, but the Spirit is still moving, shaping, and hovering. (See Genesis 1 in the Hebrew Scriptures.)

Focus on that. Your world will change, and for the better. I seem to recall the the Big Book of AA saying: “The more spiritual things you look for, the more spiritual things you will see.” (I can not now recover this quote–if someone can find it, please drop me a line.)

So, re-focus. Let your focus be realigned–realigned with love. This is the Way, as another Star Wars show says. *

*The Mandalorian, on Disney+

-Eric, the Wordsmith

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Have thoughts or comments? You can click on the comment link below, or you can email me at the address provided. Have ideas you want me to write about, or questions? Want to tell me how much you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) my content? All are acceptable, but be nice, please. Thanks! alignwithlove85@gmail.com.

The Psalms Project (Continued)

Open Psalms book with calligraphy pen and ink on wooden table outdoors
An open book of Psalms displayed outdoors with calligraphy pen and ink beside it

If you are new to this blog, on Friday or Saturday I will post something from my Vault, or one of my other Writing Projects. The Psalms Project is my attempt to take the spirit of the Psalms and re-apply them and write new ones for today. I am NOT trying to replace the amazing Psalms already in the Bible! I am in no way trying to paraphrase or restate each Psalm, but I do pay homage to them and other Bible passages, of course. While often meant as songs in the Hebrew Scriptures, mine are more like meditative essays. I invite you to play along, see what you might identify with or relate to in these. So, here is another Psalm for a Modern Day. (And yes, I did refresh the Picture for this segment, again. I was at the beach.)

UNSETTLEDNESS

         Quiet. Oh my soul longs for quiet. I feel the pull of conflicting emotions, conflicting thoughts, like a great torrent all around me. Drowning! I am drowning in myself.

Selah.

         But I am trying to hold on to these things, these shadows. Just as I cannot hold water in my hands very well, so I cannot hold on to all of this me-ness, self-ness. But awareness is not enough, for I am sinking. I am pulled down to darkness below.

Selah.

         And then there is a Voice. He speaks over my (inner) clamoring waves—He speaks:

I AM HERE. I AM IN YOU. BE STILL.

         But if I be still, surely I will drown! Should I not thrash about more, surely I can save myself?

BE STILL AND KNOW.

         Against my better judgment, I STOP. I stop my ruminations, and my wrestling, and my justifications, and my…

         For a moment, I sink, and I think this will be the end. But then there is LIGHT, and the heaviness falls away. I am lifted up, above the waters, and there is peace.

MY BURDEN IS LIGHT. DO NOT ADD TO IT.

         Suddenly I am on dry ground, and the Breeze blows gently, and He is in the Wind. He brings peace when you obey. He brings peace when we stop ourselves. He may let you “drown”, so that He may raise you up! Do not add to His burden. Praise Him—for He calms the waves of the seas and the waves within—for neither is too hard for Him!

Amen.

(Some of the ideas here are a reworking of Psalm 46, and Matthew 11:28-30)

-Eric, the Wordsmith

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Have thoughts or comments? You can click on the comment link below, or you can email me at the address provided. Have ideas you want me to write about, or questions? Want to tell me how much you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) my content? All are acceptable, but be nice, please. Thanks! alignwithlove85@gmail.com.

Narratives Revisited

(Context is King)

Red book titled Nights of Stardust on wooden bedside table with lamp and mug
A quiet bedside table with a classic book and warm cup beneath a moonlit window

(Writer’s Note: I skipped my Late-in-the-Week Vault Post due to time constraints. I have a day-job, remember. But here I am back with some new content. Enjoy!)

I am often struck with writing ideas and inspirations, sometimes for the blog, and sometimes just little notes to myself. They wind up in a paper journal, or in Apple’s Journal App. They all will probably find their way here eventually.

As I was working hard at my Accounting Day-Job, I was observing myself, as there is usually something going on in this brain of mine, and I was struck by some different perspectives on what I already wrote. It was a busy week with many deadlines, and a week where there were many to-do’s. I did not intend to revisit the Myths and Narratives of my prior series, but there I was. (See (The Unholy Trinity under my Archives Page.)

One of the things I wrote was: “Someone else narrated our lives for us, and we Aligned with that.” I just re-read that whole post, which I still completely agree with. I would now add this: We add our own Narratives to situations, and we add context to everything. Part of this is being human. We simply do not know everything, can’t read minds, or get blinded by our own thoughts and feelings. But what about our own minds?

I wrote how others, like our parents, or other authority figures, created narratives for us, however unwittingly. But we create our own narratives, too. That text that wasn’t returned is proof you are unlovable, or course. (You think that.) So-and-so is late as they don’t really care about you. You really aren’t that attractive, and hence are single, or single again. You’re boring because someone didn’t stay “locked in” on your story. I am a “bad” writer as I do not have a million followers, and flowers thrown at my car as I drive to work. There are numerous reasons others behave, or don’t behave, as they do. You, or me, may have nothing to do with it.

In a recent podcast from Laura Vanderkam, https://lauravanderkam.com/before-breakfast-podcast/, she spoke about how feedback is about the person giving it, and is not really about you, the receiver. Such a fascinating idea. She went on to say that does not mean you dismiss the feedback, but you do not have to be beholden to it either. (If you ever read this, Laura–I’m a big fan.) So, it really is not all about me, and I do not have to over-listen to my own “Inner Critic”. My Inner Critic has been pelting me throughout much of my life. As I wrote about how others gave us a narrative, a dear friend told me that eventually, we internalize that voice, and it becomes our own voice.*

It might have been parents, or teachers, or old bosses, or even our warped perceptions of God that gave us those narratives. But now it is me–I am telling myself what is happening. Of course, not everything I think of a situation is wrong. Not every perception is off-base. But how much do I add to everything? How much do you add in your own head to a situation? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.

Have I let a rainy day be “dreary”, when it is just “water falling from the sky? (I believe the Vulcans from Star Trek said that in one of the novels from that series.) I add context. It’s rainy, and darker, and damp, but I decided it is dreary, and not desirable. My son, who I will call Rob for the purposes of this blog, says: “I love rainy days. I think they are cozy”. Totally different perspective. Yes, rain stops a baseball game, and stops outside work, but it also provides an opportunity to do inside things, like writing. I pronounce it as dreary, in the way, and not what I want. My son sees it as cozy, and reads a book, or plays an inside game. Am I wrong, and my son correct? Neither–it’s just different views of a natural occurrence on a planet with weather. But my perception, if not re-directed, if not re-aligned, leads to a feeling of having “missed out”, or disappointment. My son’s leads to him just changing what he was going to do. Now, I am a grown-up and he is a teenager, so there are some differing realities approaching the same event. But, I have adopted his mindset about rain, and it helps me not be disappointed or “let down”, when water falls out of the sky.

I adjust to the situation. I redefine it, and create a new narrative.

How often do we not do this? How often do we jump on a “train of thoughts” and ride them to who knows where? I recall from my college days a young lady I was very much in love/like with. The feelings were not reciprocated, and I actually recall sitting under the moonlight crying and thinking my whole life would be miserable as she did not love me back. Fast forward 30 some years, and I have not seen that person, lost touch, and probably haven’t even thought of that moment until just now. This is not to say anything bad about that person. I imagine if I ran into them, I would surely say hello, and chat for a bit. But my life was not “ruined” because I did not get into a serious relationship with them. I told myself a story that I would be “happy” in a romantic relationship with her, and if not, well, it was the end. (Yes, some of this was late teenager/young twenty-something drama.) But many of us do this in varying degrees with so many things.

As I have said before: notice those thoughts. What are you telling yourself? What are you telling yourself about the world? How have you imagined the Realms of Living you find yourself in? (Go to the Archives Page, please.) How do you see a diety or no diety, and why? How do you see yourself–your thoughts and feelings? Is everything bad? Are you “bad”? Are you always a “failure”? How about everyone else? Is everyone smarter, thinner, more creative, a better cook, more productive, and so forth? As it is said in 12-Step Circles: “Stop comparing your inside to everyone else’s outsides.”

The Social Media Age we live in is filled to overflowing with people going to cool places, cooking amazing stuff, commenting on this and that, and creating wonderful things. Some of it is truly awe-inspiring, but some of it is carefully choreographed, and is intended to keep drawing you in and back again. ‘Likes’ make money, and feed egos. I am not knocking this per se, but I have come to think that too much of the modern Internet is filled with people saying: “Look at me, look at me….”

The point is: Can we be OK, when no one seems to care about what you posted? Can you be OK in yourself, when the camera is not rolling, and the notifications stop beeping? I am acutely aware that my little corner of Internet posting is not received with all the accolades I may want, but I am doing what I believe I am called to be and do. If I like the work, and I am dong what I think God is asking me to do, can that be enough?

Yes, it can be. Align with Love is not about clicks, or fame, or money. It is about showing you how to be a more Loving Presence in the world, whether you want to be or not. Maybe how I say it/write it doesn’t grab you. Maybe it just hasn’t hit you yet. Some of what I am writing is hitting me now as though I am hearing it for the first time. I have to believe the work is good and true and helpful, or I would not feel called to it.

So, I chose the Narrative of writing from my heart. I chose to write for you, and for God, and what I sense I am led to say. Don’t just settle for being a part of the “clicking-race”. Be true to what God has called you to be. Align with God’s love, and you will see amazing things happen. I believe God’s Narrative is the true and better one. Live in it.

*Personal conversation with Pastor Bill Dandreano of Salem Tabernacle. You can hear his amazing ideas at: https://billdandreanogmailcom664149.substack.com/ or also at https://www.salemtabernacle.com/category/sermons/

-Eric, the Wordsmith

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Have thoughts or comments? You can click on the comment link below, or you can email me at the address provided. Have ideas you want me to write about, or questions? Want to tell me how much you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) my content? All are acceptable, but be nice, please. Thanks! alignwithlove85@gmail.com

Activation Reaction!

Red activate button on a scratched industrial control panel
Close-up of a red activate button on a worn control panel in an industrial setting

BOOM! That person just said that. You are mad. Are they serious? Maybe you say something back. Maybe a furious text exchange starts. Maybe a “heated” conversation ensues. Maybe you work through it, and maybe you don’t. Even if you do work through it, there are residual hurt feelings on both sides. Maybe you are mad at yourself. You feel like that person “got you going” again. You’re frustrated. You’re frustrated with that spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. You’re frustrated with that parent, child, boss, coworker, club member, or fellow church-goer. They did this, or said this, and you got activated. Then you reacted. Maybe you said something to them, or maybe you just “stewed” over it in your mind.

This is my whole life. (Not really, but it feels like it some times.) As I wrote before, we have our Egos, Expectations, and Myths, or Narratives, we live in. (See my Archives Page for more details). https://align-with-love.com/archive/ It’s under a Series called: ‘The Unholy Trinity’. I want you to not say that thing, or ask that question. I want you to not criticize, or be late, or whatever. But you do, and I am activated. I am annoyed you are not doing want I want, or saying what I don’t want you to. I don’t want to help you with this or that thing. I’m having a “bad day”, and I would rather you came back tomorrow. Or, I am thinking some amazing thoughts right now, and you are interrupting my “flow”. I sound very selfish, right?

We ALL do this. We want our day to go a certain way, hair to behave, outfits to flatter, children to just be quiet, the boss to not dump that project on us, and so forth. That’s not reality, as I just wrote last week. Things will go awry. Your ego will clash with another person’s, no matter how much you are alike, have similar interests, or are in love. We will activate one another. Not all activation is bad. As I am using this word here, others have used the word “triggered” or “provoked”. The addict in Recovery knows to avoid triggering people, places, and things! We know things provoke us, like maybe the “other” party in politics and it’s followers. If you are religious, you are provoked or activated by non-religious attitudes. If you are non-religious, you may be provoked by religious folk you think are telling you how to live, or “look down” at you.

I like the word activated, though. It is more neutral, and encompasses both good and bad. I can be activated with compassion when I hear of a natural disaster and want to donate to a charity. I can be activated to help a neighbor who’s lawn mower died, and I can mow part of their lawn. As I have said again and again, we must pause. The snide comment may not need a comeback. It really doesn’t. Maybe instead of starting a “war of words”, you can respond differently. Maybe you can say: ‘Hey, that is hurtful,” or “I hear this when you say that. ” Yes, I know it seems like this will not work with some people, and that may be true. But you can let someone keep pushing your “activate” button and keep getting worked up, or you can make different choices. You are not the mindless machine console in this week’s blog image! You can make choices.

You can choose your responses, too. It may be very hard, especially if you have ingrained patterns from addictions, compulsions, or family of origin trauma. This blog is not a replacement for professional therapy for such things, but it can point you to some awareness. It can help you get some perspective. Then you can say: “I need help, and what can I do to find it?”

So often we do not know where that other person is coming from. I have an idea of what I call “emotional landscapes” that I do not believe I have written about here. Put simply, it is the larger emotional/mental state of your life. Are you a more “upbeat” person? Or are you more melancholy and down? Some people are just super-chill no matter what they are going through. Others, like me, add some “drama” to just about everything. Also, we are all “going through stuff” all the time. Maybe it was a “fuss” with a spouse, or a co-worker is out, and you are stuck doing their work, plus your’s. Maybe that cup of coffee didn’t touch the headache. The plumber can’t make it at 5. Daycare has an outbreak, and you are scrambling to get the kids somewhere, and still make it to the 9AM meeting!

So then, it’s no wonder you are snippy, are irritable, or got “activated” with that one more request, comment, look, etc. What is your landscape, and what is that other person’s? Maybe you don’t have a relationship that you can (or should) disclose all that is going on in your life. But maybe you can communicate something. Maybe just saying to co-workers: “I have a very ill parent, and it is very draining, and I may need to be out sometimes, and I won’t be able to work on this assignment.” Maybe that is all that is needed. Maybe saying: “I am hearing things in this text that may not be true, can we get on the phone, or grab coffee in person?” That question might have saved me hours of my life!

We’ll say we don’t have time to disclose “emotional landscapes”. We’re too busy to stop for an in-person chat. But, we are willing to keep carrying the “mental load” of whatever the activation is? I know for me, I have lost countless hours being “in my head” over a text exchange, or how I perceived an email, or a conversation, instead of getting clarity. Maybe you don’t relate, and don’t read into things, or just don’t care what someone said or meant.

Some of us do, and spend a lot of time and energy on it. We probably shouldn’t, but we do. So, if you are someone easily activated, this post is for you. If you are not easily activated, you surely activate someone, and having some sensitivity as to how you may be coming across is a good thing. Some people are chronically hurting the people around them with a profound lack of self awareness, and have a huge disconnect from the Realms of Living. (See Archives again.)

Don’t be one of those people. Have some consideration for others–this is another way to Align with Love. If you are the easily activated one, don’t be down on yourself. There are numerous reasons you are that way. One of the most obvious is that you care. You care about how you feel, and you care about how others feel. It’s called empathy–and it is on short supply in too many quarters. But, when you get lost in your own head over what you are perceiving, it is time for some realignment. Breathe and pause–I will keep writing it. Ask for clarification. “Did you mean this? Is this due then? Do you want me to stop this task, and focus on this other thing? Could I have a few minutes to think on it?” As Peter Scazzero says: “How are you experiencing me?” is another good question to ask others to get their perspective on you. I dread asking that question, and it needs to be with the right person. But, if you can have relationships with that kind of honesty–that is a wonderful thing.

Lastly, take that activation to God. I know not everyone reading this will want to do that, but it can not hurt you to ask: “God, what are you showing me in this activation? Why am I angry, hurt, or sad? Why do I want this to happen, or need this to go this way?” It might just be some minor Ego matter, or maybe there are deep Narratives that will need therapy to properly correct. Either way, openness to the Great Reality, and getting some Divine Guidance will help tremendously!

I once had an issue with a person where there was enormous misunderstanding, and I was very much in my head over the issues we had with each other. I did not then have the tools I am blogging about firmly established. I could not see my own Ego, and the like, fully. But as I prayed, I felt that God showed me that the person had some deep mental health issues that I had unwittingly activated, and a lot of their reactions were their issues. I needed to have compassion, stop making the whole thing about me, and stop my own ruminations. Everything was not magically “better” with that person, but I was better at how I was activated by them, and how I handled myself and my responses.

It takes time to improve our responses to life and to other people. Be patient. Return to Openness and Lightness over and over again–Alignment will come. Choose to dial down how activated you get, especially over truly unimportant things. A soul in constant turmoil is exhausting–I know–I had one, and still have one, sometimes.

Deeper Flow will come when you seek God, and seek peace with others. You will have more sanity, and so will others. I promise you will.

Until next time,

-Eric, the Wordsmith

BP29

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