(That no one really told you about)

Welcome new Substack subscribers!!
I believe all of life has Four Basic Components. No matter what you are doing, no matter what situation you are in, or who you are with, these four are in play:
1) TIME 2) TASKS 3) RELATIONSHIPS 4) RESOURCES
You may immediately say: Everyone knows this. Or, I don’t agree. That’s fine–please play along for now. I think we may sort-of know this, but we probably never delineated life like this.
Why does it matter?
It matters because some of the craziness in life we experience is due to NOT having these 4 in balance. We don’t have them in balance, or we are around people who don’t have them balanced, either. If we continue in life oblivious to this, and never reflect on it, we may well be running in multiple directions, never doing what we were “called” to do. We wind up angry and exhausted. We get frustrated with others, and then we might even escape into unhealthy behaviors to cope.
Over the next four weeks, I will break down one of these Components each week. I want you to take this opportunity to reflect on how these relate to you, and what you may want to do about them. I do not balance these perfectly, either, let’s get that straight! But, even starting to think about them can make a huge change in your life!
We will start with TIME. Align With Love is not a time-management blog. There are many people who write/speak on that, and say it way better. I do recommend Laura Vanderkam on my Helpful Links Page, and the direct link is here: https://lauravanderkam.com . She has many wonderful ideas on how to restructure your time and life. I listen to her daily podcast, and I highly recommend it. (I do not know her–just stumbled on her work a few years back.)
How do you spend your time? What do you spend your time on? How much time is spent on work? How much time is spent on the commute? Maybe you work from home, or do the child rearing. There is also the seemingly endless “little things” of life: Bill paying, oil changes, emails, or the school play or concert. Then we add in our interests: exercise, hobbies, and yard work, etc. You can quickly see the “list” is vast, and that the 4 Components intersect and co-mingle. But for the purposes of this blog, we will separate them out, and just focus on the Time piece.
Somewhere along the line, you made decisions about what you wanted to do with your life, or fell into them due to circumstances. Maybe there was an unexpected pregnancy, or an accident, or an ill family member, and you are now spending time handling something like that. I finally decided I was going to write (for real), and not just in a journal or in Word, but write for others to read. This takes, and is taking, time.
It takes time to write each week, like a few hours, from first draft, to editing, to then posting and promoting, and then redoing some of it for Substack. (I started on WordPress.) This is time I am not doing other things. I wrote in a previous post that my backyard needs some serious love, as I have been spending time doing this, and not working out there. I can’t really rake and weed, and type on a laptop at the same time! So, I do one or the other.
But to put a fine point on it,
what do we spend time on that really adds no value?
Our modern world is filled with distractions, some good, and some bad. I love a good movie, and I love my New York Mets. I am enjoying “Falling Skies” on Netflix as of the time of this writing. I listen to lots of podcasts, and now try to read all the amazing articles from all the fellow writers I am connecting with. This all takes time. Time on the Mets is time I am not watching/listening to something else. (No Mets jokes, please.) Time on one podcast or another is time I am not listening to other things. And it is OK. We seem, in America, to expect you to pay attention to everything, and still work, keep up the house, and love your family. You can do that to a point, but you can’t do everything. You just can’t. The time you are reading my work is time you are not reading another blogger/writer, or doing something else.
This is why I appreciate your time so much. I want (and hope) you leave each encounter you have with my work with this: you leave with something helpful, and something that shifts your life, in a good way. I want you to leave a little more loving and kind, to yourself, and others. I want you to feel cared about, and that God cares about you too, really.
I have listened to countless hours of news and politics podcasts, and can have a nice chat about current events. But does knowing about the Iran War really make me a better human being? I am not saying not to pay attention to the world, and do not agree that you should ignore the news entirely. But decide when enough is enough.
I am usually pretty good about endless scrolling/web surfing, but recently, a beloved podcast on the NY Giants had stopped posting, and I was trying to find out why. So, I was on YouTube, and then saw a video about “What really happened in the Challenger disaster?” Of course, I need to know that. I was alive for that, so of course I “need” to know. Then something came up about the Titanic sinking, then the Titan sub disaster. Then explanation videos of the “Backrooms” movie–have to check that out, in case I ever wind up there. Then a mortician’s page “appeared”, and then….
All fun to know, or entertaining, or interesting. But did I really need to know any of it? I am not knocking any of these YouTube creators, or any creators, or anyone who watches whatever. So much now is slickly produced, well made, and seemingly well sourced. But the next day, I felt nothing other than a “full-head”. I wasn’t a better person. I wasn’t more loving or kind. I didn’t grow.
I had more information, but not a better heart.
I was not more Aligned with Love, or more close to God and God’s character after all that video watching. If anything, I wanted to keep watching more stuff, and maybe escape a little from the seeming boredom of everyday life.
Ah, is that part of it? Is all the “content” an escape? Again, I am not knocking TikTok videos of cool recipes, as my wife has tried a bunch, and some are amazing! And yes, it is OK to be entertained by comical, but often staged, videos. But where does it end? I do not know that mortician, nor do they know me. I did like their videos, and have nothing against their “niche”. But if that person’s breakdown of how the people died in the Titan sub disaster kept me from being productive elsewhere, and I watched that instead of spending time with family, was that good? Again, I am not saying any content creator is telling you to cut out on family to watch/listen to their stuff, but they do want your eyes, likes and comments. The modern Internet is built on this!
Hey, I want your eyes, some of the time, too. But not all the time. I can get sucked in on my end as well, checking my subscriber count, or any likes, or comments. Some is necessary, as I think if you want to create on the web, you do need to hear the voices of your audience. But I need to sleep, eat, and attend to my life, just like the rest of us. This blog is a “side gig”, a passion, and a dream. I have a regular 9-5, and have to be attentive to that first.
My intent was not to kick off the Time Competent railing against any content creators. There is much content that is inspiring, informative, and doing genuine good—I want to be in that category. I hope you do too. My point is:
stop and look at what you are consuming from the internet.
Saint Paul wrote in his letter to the Phillipian Church in the Christian Scriptures:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil 4:8, NIV)
If you are new to me, I will connect things to my practice as a Christian. Paul is reminding that 1st Century church to not focus on negative or distracting things, but to focus on the good. This is wisdom for today. I went down an Internet “rabbit-hole” of researching intriguing things, historical disasters and such, but there is tons of content that is designed to take you down paths into all manner of crazy: conspiracy theories, attacks on other faiths, or other people. Content that is designed to have you focused on it, the creators, and their worldview, and not really improve your life.
Know when to click off, shut down, or turn the phone over. Look around. Breathe. Smile at someone in real life. Give a hug. Spend “in person” time with a friend. None of this is revolutionary, but when I see so many people with their heads down, looking at a screen, I can only wonder:
How would things be better if we put more time into actual dialog not behind a screen?
One of the biggest ways you can manage your time better is to simply reevaluate your interactions with tech. Give it a shot. I’ll be intersecting with TIME more as I delve into the other Components. Tech is only one of the things we let eat up our time, and getting a handle on that will dramatically change your life, especially if you are doom-scrolling at 3AM.
Until next time, when I write about the Next Component of Life: TASKS.
-Eric, the Wordsmith
BP46
Have thoughts or comments? You can click on the comment link below, or you can email me at the address provided. Have ideas you want me to write about, or questions? Want to tell me how much you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) my content? All are acceptable, but be nice, please. Thanks! alignwithlove85@gmail.com.




