The 4 Components of Life-Part 2

(That no one really told you about)

Welcome again, new Substack subscribers!!

Recapping:

Last week, I wrote about how I believe all of life has Four Basic Components. No matter what you are doing, no matter what situation you are in, or who you are with, these four are in play:

1) TIME 2) TASKS 3) RELATIONSHIPS 4) RESOURCES

Why does this matter, I asked?

It matters because some of the craziness in life we experience is due to NOT having these 4 in balance. We don’t have them in balance, or we are around people who don’t have them in balance, either. If we continue in life oblivious to this, and never reflect on it, we may well be running in multiple directions, never doing what we were “called” to do. We wind up angry and exhausted. We get frustrated with others, and then we might even escape into unhealthy behaviors to cope. This further “unbalances” us!

Last week, I started with the first Component: Time. I wrote about how we use our time, and I encouraged us to really think about what we spend our time on. One thing that many of us spend time on is web-surfing and scrolling. I made the case that while some escapism is not bad, too much time online doesn’t really shape our hearts well. In fact, I think it shapes us in unhealthy ways.

Again, I am not bashing content creators, myself included, but do we make content that keeps our readers/viewers glued to us? Our goal, I think, should be more than just accumulating likes, subscribers, and attention. Are we helpful to our audience?

What about Tasks? I am a very task-oriented person. I often view things though the prism of the tasks involved. Going on a trip? I have a “Trip Checklist” that I print out. It lists everything I need to bring, and things I need to check before I go. It’s helpful, and it makes sure I have everything I need for travel. I have similar lists for work, and home. I do like to sit down and plan what I want to get done this week, and this month, and this year.

You may not be at all organized in such a way, and my way isn’t “better”. I am certainly not as spontaneous as others! Regardless, we all have tasks to do, as I wrote last week.

No matter what you are doing or who you are with, some task is being done.

Even if it is just “hanging out”, it’s still a task, you are doing something. You may be doing something you love doing, or it may be drudgery. Maybe it is not required, but you choose to do it anyway. In a very broad sense, not all tasks are “required”, but we still do them, due to social constraints, or conventions, or beliefs.

Like time, I think we need to reevaluate our tasks. I use an App called “Things” for organizing myself, and have my life organized around what I call “Areas of Living”. I have one I call “Household Care”, and another I call ‘Work”. I regularly review items in these areas to see what I have to do, or feel I need to do. Then I can schedule these tasks on my phone and hence see what I have to do each day. Some may hate living like this, and others are already googling “Things”. It’s from a company called Cultured Code, and I do not derive anything from recommending them. It’s just what I use for keeping my life organized, and it helps me stay on task. There are many other such Apps out there, and paper and pen is fine, too.

As I said when I launched this latest series, I think

we must balance time, tasks, relationships, and resources better.

I believe balancing these will reduce stress, and make it easier for us to be what I think is truly important: being a Loving Presence to others. I’d love to tell you that my App makes me so balanced that I just sail through life with great peace and poise. Nope. Often I get stressed trying to “juggle” family, work, household, social demands, and the like. Sound familiar?? But starting to recognize the 4 Components helps me know when to say “no” and prioritize.

As I wrote last week: You can NOT do everything. You will have to make trade-off’s with everything you do. Observing ourselves is key. What do we actually do each day? What do we do that adds no value? Again, watching a favorite show, or a sports event is not necessarily bad. Keeping up with the social media folks you like isn’t bad either, but when is it enough?

And when is something good enough? I tend towards perfectionism, so sometimes I will spend way more time on something than someone else might. Is that bad? Maybe, especially if it really doesn’t matter, and other things (and people) are neglected, while I get that task done perfectly.

Why do you do what you do?

Really, why do you do it?

I wrote previously about Myths and Narratives https://align-with-love.com/2026/03/24/the-unholy-trinity-part-3/ in a fun series called: The Unholy Trinity: Ego, Expectations, and Myths. One thing I wrote is that:

Someone else Narrated our lives for us, and we Aligned with that.

Are you doing things because that is “what we do in our family”? Maybe there is a good reason, maybe not. Perhaps something is simply impractical, or outdated. I am not necessarily talking about moral things, but maybe we spend energy on things that really have outlived their use.

My Mother dutifully changed the curtains from Spring/Summer to Fall/ Winter each year in our house. This was a chance to wash windows, and in our home in the mountains, thicker curtains were a must in the winters of upstate New York. When I moved out to my first apartment, I continued this tradition, and dutifully changed the curtains. (Mom, no disrespect, this is just an example.)

When I later got married, my wife said: “Why do you do that?” And I said: “Well, my Mom used to do it.” My wife basically said something like she was not familiar with that, and we were not doing all of that anymore. Are our windows probably not cleaned regularly? No they are not. Do we have the same curtain up for like 10 years? Yes. Does it matter? No. This is one task that was an “unnecessary” family tradition that can go bye-bye.

Another was going to church each Sunday. That is different. In my Faith Practice, that is what I do, not because my Mom does it, but because it is good for my soul (I believe) and part of what I believe God wants me to do. Could I be doing other things on Sunday morning? Sure, but my body inside a Church building is one place where I become a more Loving Presence. So that is where you will find me!

Curtains and Church may not be even remotely your things. But maybe there is a holiday tradition that has become expensive or burdensome. Here in America at the time of this writing in August, “the holidays” are creeping up on us. Maybe it is time to talk about always going here or there for Thanksgiving or Christmas. (Dear reader, don’t blame me if there is a “holiday war” because you said “no” to going to Aunt so-and so’s this year. )

But to a put a fine point on it, my Dad loved to have me and my family for Christmas Eve dinner, but it was also the same night for my church’s Christmas Eve service. I recall trying to “squeeze it all in” when each locale was an hour from each other! I eventually had to tell my Dad we had to have our Christmas dinner another night, and he agreed. (I believe in the 12 Days of Christmas, so another day would do just fine. In fact, I had a wonderful Epiphany Eve Dinner once!) I know these conversations don’t always go so well, and some people get very hurt when their holiday expectations get messed with! But when I was rushing around on the “Holiest Night of the year”, as we Christians say, and my wife (and me) were exhausted, it was time to change that task!

As I said with the Time Component Last Week: Think about the tasks you do. What could be discarded? Again, I’m not saying to stop bathing, or eating, or “quitting” all you friends. But maybe some tasks really don’t need to be done. Maybe they don’t need to be done as frequently.

Some years ago, we purchased a “robot vacuum”, so we could skip lugging the vacuum cleaner out every time we have company. We push a button, and a little circular robot glides around our floors, and does a decent job keeping our main floor clean. I know that some tasks can’t be whisked away with tech or money, but this was a small one we could do for not too much cost. Then we can do other things to get ready for guests, instead of running the vacuum ourselves.

Observe yourself. Stop to consider if that task is really necessary. Maybe that work report that no one reads can be ditched, or maybe the leaves can be allowed to pile up a bit. Maybe that thing you feel “you have to do” because “that’s just what we do”, needs to be revamped, or dumped. If it causes you stress, and you can dump it without major hassle with inlaws/family, consider dropping it. Like my Dad wanting to have Christmas Eve Dinner, it could be done on another day. Then we both didn’t have to “clock watch” to get to church on time, or back on the road, which really defeated the whole point of being together anyway.

With Tasks and Time, there is the Relationship Component as well–so that is next week’s topic. We have to balance Tasks and Time in our Relationships, as they take time and cause us to have tasks to do as well!

Until next week,

-Eric the Wordsmith

BP48

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