(And how to get some sanity back when they overwhelm you.)
Look for the real demands in life. Look for the real needs.
They may not be what you think.
We all know about demands placed on us. The Baby is crying. The phone is ringing. There’s a deadline at work. The test is tomorrow. My car needs an inspection. There are wildfires affecting much of the USA at the time of this writing, with thick smoke causing haze and making it difficult to breathe. There is a demand being placed on my body to actually breathe. (I am OK where I am.) Demands are all around us. I haven’t even gotten into social demands, religious demands, and scheduling conflicts. Modern life is demanding. It takes a toll on our minds and emotions, which I consider part of our soul. It affects our bodies too–we “feel” these demands. We know the approaching Boss or phone call means a new project, or a problem. Internally, we brace for whatever is coming.
For some of us, for a lot of us, life feels like we’re just “juggling” all the time: our families, friends, work, home, and domestic stuff, like groceries and laundry. Then there is all the political and social things around us, demanding we pay attention to that, too!
What do we do? What can we do? We can keep juggling. Keep adding. We can keep trying to please everyone, do everything, and run constantly. This leads to burnout and “breakdowns” in our relationships, work, and home life. Maybe we “blow up” emotionally, or we make snide comments. Maybe we complain at the water cooler. Perhaps we escape into streaming series, or scrolling endlessly on our phones, eating up time, and making the demands even worse. Like Ross and Rachel from Friends, we just want a break!
It seems counter-intutive, but we are going to have to stop and do some reflecting. If the proverbial “plate” is piled too high, it is time to scrape some things off. I have been intending to do a series about the “Components of Life”, and I think that I will kick that off after this. Great care is needed with this reflecting! It’s probably the wrong move to dump a demanding spouse, or walk out on our kids! (Never walk out on the kids. Get a sitter–and then maybe do take a walk for a bit.) Don’t get too extreme. But, maybe conversations are needed. Maybe children have been allowed to do nothing around the house, or are over-coddled. Maybe a heart to heart is needed with a spouse/partner to start getting to the bottom of any issues.
As I say again and again, I am not a therapist, so these are suggestions you can take, but are not to be seen as “official” counseling. But if I can get you thinking, that is my goal. If I can get you to see how you can Align with Love in this seeming “Rat Race” of life, that is part of my hope.
So how to handle those many demands? Of course I will come back to my prior posts on Ego, Expectations, and Myths. https://align-with-love.com/2026/03/09/the-unholy-trinity/ I called this the “Unholy-Trinity”. What do you want to do? What do you REALLY need to do? I know my wife will say: “The yard does not need to be perfect,” when I say: “I have to do these five things outside…” She is right. There are no “Yard Police” in my town. No one will fine me if my lawn is not mowed, shrubs not perfectly trimmed, or leaves not raked. Should I be a good steward of my home? Yes, but in balance with everything else.
I am writing now a lot more. It takes time to do this. So, my yards are less than pristine, and I have some overgrown garden areas with weeds. (These are out of sight from general view.) It bugs me, but then I say: “I am writing now. I have been putting this off for most of my life, and I need to do this. So the yards can wait.” Of course, if I use my low subscriber count as a measure, perhaps I would despair and go back to weeding!
I will not. I will keep on doing this, as I believe these words will find the right people in the right time. Some person reading my works and becoming a more Loving Presence is more important than the house looking like it belongs on the cover of a magazine!
You may not relate to my yardwork example. But we all have our own things. We all have the things we feel we “need” to do. It may be how we dress, or how we eat, or exercising, or some hobby, and we put time into that. But we all have limited resources, time, and relational constraints. Children need to be fed and bathed, taught, and time spent with them, at a minimum. Hopefully we do that lovingly most of the time!
But what you choose to spend time on will mean you can’t spend time on something else.
I recently had been spending a chunk of my non-work time doing financial work for a non-profit. There simply was not enough time to write this blog, and help out with that too. It was tough, as it is something I have a talent for, and I could genuinely be helpful. I had to listen to the Spirit, as we Christians say, and know it was time to “retire” from that work, and move into this. Transitions and training were made and done, and now I can be here, writing and knowing the non-profit’s finances are being handled well by others. I had to let go of my Narrative that only “I” could do that work, and that I was the “”best” at it. (This was my Ego. I had to release my Expectations (untrue) that things wouldn’t go well if the “Great Eric” stopped doing something!
I had to release one demand to take on another. Too often we just keep adding demands. In this modern world, we have unwittingly added lots of secondary demands: following social media being one. There is a constant stream of posts, podcasts and videos vying for our attention. Being a writer, I am now aware of all the “how to” content of how to grow my audience, increase subscribers, and make money writing. None of this is bad, but again, I can spend too much time learning all the things I “should” be doing to grow my audience, instead of actually writing.
In my Prayer and Quiet Time, that I call “The Renewals”, I sense the Lord telling me I am planting seeds with each post. No natural seed immediately sprouts! Some take days, or weeks. So I need to be patient. Of course, I can spend some time seeing how others do this and are successful, and I would be foolish not to. I should keep honing my skills, learning when to use “then” or “than”, and the like. But I do not need to listen to the “demand” that my follower and subscriber count means I am, or am not, a “good” writer! That is a Narrative. I can hear it, but I do not need to follow it.
We Christians believe that Jesus tells us to follow Him. (Matthew’s Gospel 4:19) He was the Original Poster, long before “like” buttons, and hearts! I wrote early on that Jesus told us take His Yoke on Him, and that it was “easy” AND light. https://align-with-love.com/2026/02/23/lightness/ Maybe you are not fond of Jesus telling you anything, even if you believe in Him, but I believe His demands are the better ones. They are better than the one’s we made up.
Aligning with Love is the best demand, I think.
Being loving to others and ourselves is how we live that out.
That is a good tool to start evaluating demands. What shows I am loving? What is kind? Is this Aligned with Love? Am I just escaping from something doing this thing? Maybe it is time to stop scrolling and go to bed, and take care of yourself. Maybe you can actually say: I can’t do this right now, but I can do it later today, or tomorrow. (I know some emergencies can’t wait, but some of us, like me, see EVERYTHING as an emergency. ) It isn’t.
I do not need to keep checking my phone to see if I got likes, favorited, or subscribed too. Does God like me? Does God love me?
Did God already favorite, like, AND subscribe to my life and heart?
Yes, I believe He did. That was the most important relationship, and now I can love my family, friends, and community, knowing God loves me. In my case, part of that looks like writing for you. For others it may be spending hours on the phone with a friend in need. Maybe it is working with politicians to add affordable housing or a grocery store to an area that needs it. Again I say:
Look for the real demands in life. Look for the real needs.
They are all around you. The kind word to the store clerk may mean the world. A genuine, encouraging comment on a post that only takes you an extra minute, may be just the thing a new-comer to some interest needs to hear! I wrote this before too:
See. Love. Serve.
See the real demands: people want to be loved and validated. It doesn’t matter if they are from the “other” Party, are religious or non-religious, nice, or a jerk. Be kind anyway. Love them anyway. We are all jerks at one time or another. Serve them anyway! There are many opportunities to serve in your community, and you can just look around.
During a snow storm this winter, I saw that some older neighbors had their driveway end buried by snow. I used my snowblower, as I was clearing my driveway anyway, to clear the end of their driveway up to their car. They could then get out and not spend hours doing it themselves. I saw, loved, and served. This is really not hard, if we can start practicing some openness.
But when we are head-down and scrolling, we can’t see the real world.
I am not going to bash phone use, and I am using my phone constantly, like so many others. But, it makes a demand on me: It buzzes and alarms, and wants me to look at it. (Almost like a idol?) I must decide how much of a demand that block of silicon and circuits will make on me. I am old enough to remember a time before such devices. Yes, I did not know the weather instantly, or the baseball score, or the news, or who “liked” me today. But I had time for other demands. I saw the world, and the people around me more. That wasn’t such a bad thing.
Take a look at those “demands” of your’s. Who put them there? Someone else? Are you running now with a request made years ago, and that has long ceased being helpful or useful? Just look, and bring some love to the looking and to yourself. See how you can meet the real demands of people right around you: to be seen and loved.
I will be breaking this down more with a new Series: “The 4 Components of Life no one really told you about”.
Coming next week…
-Eric, the Wordsmith
BP45
Have thoughts or comments? You can click on the comment link below, or you can email me at the address provided. Have ideas you want me to write about, or questions? Want to tell me how much you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) my content? All are acceptable, but be nice, please. Thanks! alignwithlove85@gmail.com.