(Reprints)

(Writer’s Note: I started my Blog on WordPress in February of 2026. Now, as I have started also posting on Substack, let me take this opportunity to reintroduce myself to people who really don’t know who I am, or what I am about. So, here is another of my “Reprints”, essays/articles I wrote, but you may have missed! Think of this as reruns of a beloved TV show that you never got a chance to watch the first time. Enjoy, and get inspired.)
From March 16th, 2026:
Welcome back! On to Part 2. If you are new here, go to the “Archives” Page from the Main Menu on my WordPress page, and you will see links to earlier posts. https://align-with-love.com/archive/ I strongly encourage you to read “Transitions” and “What’s it all about?” so you can get a gist of what I am writing about. As a background to this series, check out “Approaches to Life” as well, as I am now writing about the Obstacles to those Approaches. The first was about how your Ego gets in the way. Stick around–I think you will find this all helpful, encouraging, and dare I say, life-changing.
It’s not life-changing because I am so eloquent, smart, or so persuasive, (I’m not). It is life changing because the Universe is filled with Love, despite appearances, and if you Align with that Love, and deepen into it, you will be a different person. That Love is far beyond whatever feelings you may have felt for another person, sibling, child, or pet. It will transform you. So play along, read, and see what you might find helpful. Onward-
Our Expectations “trip us up” too. We “stumble” in our relationships. We get mad someone is late. We made dinner and it is cold now. That child just will not-will not-do what you ask. You want Spring to come, like me, and the thermometer says 40 degrees F, and you want like 60+. (At the time of this writing.)
Expectations are defined as: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. It is also simply stated as “anticipation” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expectation. Beliefs and anticipation–not reality. Our egos are forecasting. Expectations are our egos forecasting the future. I want you home at this time. You think if you run to the store at 8PM it will be dead then, and it is mysteriously a zoo. But we are not God, and really can not be sure what will happen, or what someone will do in any given situation. Do not fret that chaos may occur at any time. Many people are very reliable, and many things do indeed happen with clockwork precision.
But what happens internally when your expectation is not met? How do you handle it? My default is to get mad. I say things like: “Are you kidding me?” “This is so annoying!” ‘Why, why, would you do that?” My Ego had it’s wishes, and I anticipated how things would go, how I wanted them to go, how they should go, and you came along and messed it up! (Not you, Dear Reader, but you know you do this, too.)
Now I get angry in these situations. “I will be late for work”, I mutter. As another example, I have a very damaged basement from my Winter flood, that was NOT on my metaphorical Bingo Card. I did not want to have to deal with that. I expected being outside with the birds and fresh air, doing yard work, not down in the basement cleaning and repairing! I can keep being angry. I can be a jerk to my wife, and others, or I can breathe. I can let “Little Eric”, my name for my Inner Child, stomp his feet, and then give him a hug, and tell him” This will be OK.” Because it will.
Overreacting to everything that is not happening as I would like (reactions to my expectations not being met)–does not help! I wish it did, I really do. But it does not. “Flipping out” with cursing and fussing, and yelling about the injustice of this supposedly Loving-Universe, only makes me feel ridiculous and embarrassed. I imagine it is unsettling for others around me, too. (I know it is-who am I kidding?) Yes, I forget my own philosophy, and my own Approaches, sometimes. I forget in those moments when my will is being blocked, when my expectations are not met as I would like, when I want, and how I want. I have not allowed my perceptions and my beliefs to be Aligned with any Love. I behave as as a spoiled, entitled child, until allowing some re-centering to take place. Lord have mercy…
If you are in Christian Practice and Belief, you know there are challenges on this Journey. Jesus told us so. As I quoted in a previous post, “Lightness”, Jesus said we would have difficulties. But He admonished us to take heart, as He had overcome these things. (John’s Gospel, 16:33). He re-narrates our perceptions. He tells us to expect difficulty, and then He will be with us in it, and He will somehow overcome it. In Christian thinking, the now Resurrected Christ is not just floating around somewhere, but actually inhabiting us in the presence of the Holy Spirit. I will go out on a limb and say that even if you don’t believe in Jesus as divine, you can still be influenced and helped by His Holy Spirit. As Richard Rohr said in his book, “The Universal Christ”, we live in a “Christ-soaked world”. That may not resonate with you, or be your Practice, but I believe it is true.
As I have said before in this blog, I believe the Universe is filled with Love, God’s love. When we get angry about how things didn’t turnout as expected, we are saying that we profoundly disagree with how the Universe is running today. That is OK–all is not as it should be. There is war, starvation, disasters, breakdowns, missed opportunities, pure foolishness, and so many other things that seem to disrupt the Flow of the Universe. It is too much right here to delve into all the depths of why bad things happen, and I would not make light of terrible occurrences, and say you should just be OK with tragedy.
As the same time, as I spoke of in my “Openness” and “Lightness” posts, I believe that our Expectations are how we block living with Openness and Lightness in our day-to-day lives. We can live tight-fisted and closed to avoid hurt and pain, or we can be Open to what the Universe may bring, teach, or give us, and it is NOT always pleasant. We can choose some Lightness in our Responses. In my example of my flooded basement, I can start to see that it is an opportunity to have my den “refreshed”, which will be kind of cool. The damaged pool may give me an opportunity to redo a whole area of my outdoor living, that I wanted to do anyway. I am blessed that I have these options, and that insurance will enable me to rebuild. I know this is not everyone’s experience. A lost home may never be rebuilt, or a broken marriage will not be restored, or that person is never coming back.
We do have to grieve when some of these Expectations are not met. I may be annoyed that my order got messed up at the local fast-food place, but that is truly unimportant. The broken relationship, the college application denied, the destroyed home, the war-torn country, those are all dashed Expectations. I do not mean that Openness and Lightness are to just act like it all doesn’t matter, and be utterly “care free”. What I do mean is to care less about unimportant things. What I do mean is to know that bad things can and will happen at times–don’t act surprised! Some things we can prepare for and minimize their effects, and for other things, there is little we can do. A sudden tornado may give you only minutes to escape!
I still believe even in these terrible tragedies, whether from nature or man-made, God is still working, and is still in the midst of it. I believe we can expect ultimate good to come from even these terrible things, even if we don’t ever see it or seem to experience it. I know some people will not buy into this–and I get it. I am asking for a deeper trust that is hard to get to. But it is there-it can be found, and with it, something wondrous, for ourselves, and for the world. If you have a religious background, you are told “things work for good”. (Paul’s letter to the Romans, Chapter 8, in the Christian Scriptures). Don’t stop believing that. The Universe isn’t “done yet”. (I will unpack that at some point.)
If you are not religious, and have been “suffering” through what seems like religious/spiritual gibberish reading this, just try to have more Lightness with your Expectations. Don’t assume bad at every turn. Breathe, and notice what you were hoping would happen in the situation. Was it realistic? (Religious folk can do this too.) Even if it was realistic, maybe there are reasons the other person(s) couldn’t do it as you liked. Maybe they were ill, had their own tragedies, missed the train, etc. Have some compassion.
Have compassion on yourself. You expected that habit to be gone by now, and it isn’t. You thought you’d be happier, or wealthier, or more peaceful, and you are not. But look a little more deeply–you are reading this. I believe this blog will help you grow, evolve, and mature in your heart and your responses to Life, if you let it. (I am not the only one saying helpful things, and this is by no means the “best blog” out there!)
But if you took time to read a blog called “Align with Love”, you took a few steps. Maybe you know me and desired to humor me, and I appreciate you for that! Maybe you were looking to be more loving, and started to realize: “Hey, this is a way I can be more loving. Somebody is telling me a simple, different way to do it. I can try this. I can do this.” Slowly, falteringly, like a toddler learning to walk, maybe you took one idea and applied it, and it helped. (I hope it did.) I know these notions helped me–that is why I am doing this. As you try to Align more with Love, you will slowly experience a different life, and and a different way of living. It is not easy, but it is an expectation you can have, and it will not ultimately disappoint.
Next week, we wrap up with the 3rd Member of this “Unholy” Trinity: Myths.
Don’t think you live by any? Oh, we do indeed. Stay tuned. Stay Open. Stay Light.
-Eric, the Wordsmith
PB57-R14
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